What should we do so that our project takes place? Step -by -step recommendation of psychologist Marina Melia: from “I want” to “act”.
Marina Melia, psychologist, author of the book “Business is Psychology: Psychological Coordinates of the Life of a Modern Business Man” (United Press, 2015).
Step 1. “Want”
Any of our life in life begins with the phrase “I want”. It would seem to formulate what we want is not at all difficult. But this is only at first glance. In fact, this is both difficult, and important, and responsibly, because we determine the goal for which we are ready to block our life. Therefore, first of all, we must figure out: our “want” – really ours? Or we formulate ourselves as a goal that by hearing, which is inspired by fashion, our environment, stereotypes, social norms? The implementation of the project can stretch for years – will we have enough motivation, patience, perseverance? If the goal is “ours”, not a stranger, not brought from the outside, is enough. To understand this, you must try to see the picture of the desired: so the architect, before building a house, always draws a sketch on paper. And then it will immediately become clear whether we need everything that we so selflessly dream of whether we really want this than we are ready to sacrifice to achieve this goal.
The goal becomes real when it expresses our true, deep motives when we begin to live by it. In search of our true goal, we often find our true “I”. There are many examples in my practice, when a bold dream itself revealed such a potential in man, the existence of which he did not even suspect.
Step 2. “Can”
We already understood what we want, but what we can? We need to evaluate our resources, our starting capabilities, to conduct a kind of “audit of reality”. This procedure can present many unpleasant surprises, it is good to ruin our mood and even undermine faith in the possibility of our project. But it is not without reason that it is said that every desire is given to us along with the forces to implement it. The main thing is not to try to deceive yourself and represent the situation better than it is actually.
We need to evaluate not only external resources – financial and organizational, but also internal – our knowledge, skills, qualifications. I’m going to open my own business – if I have enough energy, whether I can withstand such a load, whether I am ready to live for a long time in a situation of uncertainty? Do I have the organizer’s talent, the ability to get along with people, demand, negotiate, resolve conflicts? Perhaps I need a reliable partner who has all these qualities and will be able to “close the gaps”, compensate for my
shortcomings, support, insure, and so on.
